Promise
by WhiteTeaLeaf
Summary: You both knew that promises were meant to be kept. But this time, you had to break it. Levi x Reader


The heavens cracked open and rain poured forth from the grey skies, washing the earth clean of blood and carnage. You were lying on the floor, shallow breaths rattling in your chest like a sack of broken marbles as you struggled to keep your eyes open, the sky's tears blurring your vision. Above you, the familiar figure of the one you loved so much hovered like the illuminated silhouette of an angel. He was shouting something, his normally impassive face contorted in agony, hands clutching your icy ones desperately as he brought his face closer to yours. The sight of him in so much pain made your heart seize in your chest, your hand fluttering weakly to rest on his cheek. "Don't be sad," you tried to comfort him, the words hissing out of your lips in a ghostly whisper. "It's okay. Everything's okay."

But both of you knew you were lying. Dark eyes boring deep into yours, he clutched your shoulders in a death grip, as if his very touch could keep away the grim reaper. His lips were still moving frantically, but no words reached your ears. Weary and cold, you placed a finger over his mouth, silencing him. "Shh," you murmured gently. "You don't have to say anything."

Obediently, he stopped speaking and clutched your fingers tightly, his thoughts written clearly all over his face in invisible ink. Those unspoken words, the silent gazes the both of you had exchanged for so long, they were now hovering in the air, dense as a fog and coating the insides of your mouths, a bitter mixture of loss and regret. You smiled ruefully. What a cruel irony fate has dealt you with. To be in love with someone you had never dared to think would return your feelings, only to find out how much he cared for you when it was too late. But then again, you could never tell what your beloved was thinking, even when you two met for the first time three years ago.

 _You stood in the warm sunshine, face upturned to the blue skies. A bright smile blossomed across your face slowly as the wonderful truth dawned upon you, bathing you in a rosy glow. You had finally achieved the dream that you have had ever since you were a young child; you were part of the Survey Corps at last! A wild, animalistic sort of joy flooded your entire being, and you whooped manically in the air, laughter spilling out of your mouth like a shower of fireworks. As carefree as a child, you turned cartwheels recklessly over the grassy lawn, smearing your brand new uniform and sending clumps of dirt spraying into the air. So engrossed were you in your celebration that you were completely oblivious to those around you, staring at you with disapproving eyes and murmuring disgustedly behind your back._

 _It came as a complete surprise to you when you finally bumped into someone, causing you to crash into your poor victim and tumble to the floor in a messy pile of squeals and limbs. Trying to untangle yourself from the other party desperately, you glanced up, and the colour drained from your face as you saw who you had slammed into._

 _It was none other than Corporal Levi._

 _The dark-haired man frowned down at you, the expression intimidating on his impassive face. You gulped and screamed inwardly. Of all the people you could have crashed into you just had to pick the one person who can make your life absolute hell. Everyone had heard of Corporal Levi. Notoriously famous for his ruthlessness and efficiency in killing titans, he was somewhat of a legendary hero whom everybody looked up to, but no one dared to approach him. With his poker face and perpetually furrowed brows, he was always alone and basked in a mysterious aura of his own, evident even in a huge crowd. And now he was right in front of you, his body bare inches from your own._

 _Hastily, you skittered backwards like a startled animal, face flushed and hands flailing. "F-forgive me Corporal!" you squeaked, breaking out into a cold sweat. "I didn't mean to knock you down!"_

 _The grey-eyed man remained silent, scrutinising you with that disconcerting gaze of his. "Cadet," he growled, the low rumble sending shivers up your spine. "Do you know what a member of the Survey Corps is supposed to do at all times?"_

 _Your mind blank from pure fear, you shook your head, locks damp from sweat. The gesture seemed to spark something within the corporal, and he approached you slowly, disapproval radiating from every pore. His hand in his pocket, he drew out something with the deliberate grace of a predator ready to pounce, eyes fixed on your uniform. You stood rooted to the spot, certain that he was going to pull out a weapon of some sort and harm you._

 _When he finally reached you, something inside you shrivelled and died. His hand was clenched in a fist around a small object you couldn't figure out, but you were sure that it was a knife or some other blade. Your breath halted in your chest, and your legs began to tremble in fear as you remained as still as a pillar of salt, helpless as a butterfly trapped in a net. Roughly, Levi unfurled his fingers and laid his palm against your shoulder, revealing what he was holding._

 _It was a white handkerchief._

 _"Cadets are supposed to keep their uniform clean and pristine at all times!" The corporal barked, rubbing the cloth against the grass stains on your shirt furiously. "Cleanliness is next to goodliness. If you can't even keep your uniform clean, how the hell are you supposed to perform other duties?"_

 _With a final rub, he let go of you and shoved the handkerchief into your hand, eyes narrowed as he surveyed his handiwork and grunted in satisfaction. "Don't get your uniform dirty again, cadet," he warned you. "The next time this happens, a handkerchief won't be the only thing you'll be getting."_

 _Before you had time to respond, Levi turned and walked away briskly, his cape billowing in the breeze as he soon vanished from your field of vision. You clutched the handkerchief to your chest and felt a steady blush make its way up your neck, but the butterflies in your stomach told you that this time, it wasn't from fear._

The memory glowed like a fallen star, and you smiled up at Levi fondly. To be honest, it wasn't a particularly auspicious beginning, but the other meetings that the both of you had made up for the rocky start. Your vision clouded once more as another memory surfaced in your mind, emerging from the mists of forgetfulness like a beacon shining in the dark.

 _Clouds of dust and cobwebs flew everywhere, making you cough and splutter in protest, eyes watering from the filthy air. Beside you, Eren was beating a carpet viciously, almost as if it was a titan he could slaughter. Mikasa was working efficiently as usual, her trademark scarf tied around the lower half of her face. Nearby, poor Armin was covered from head to toe in dust bunnies, the front of his uniform smeared grey with dirt._

 _"Tch!" Eren grumbled loudly, giving the rug a final punch. "Why the hell are we even putting so much effort into cleaning? Not all of us can be like that clean freak corporal!"_

 _Almost instantly, blood rushed to your cheeks at the mention of the corporal you adored, and you tried to cover it up by sweeping even more vigorously than before. It had been two months since your first meeting with him, but he was always on your mind, causing you to blush and stammer at any subtle reminder of the dark-eyed man. You knew it was embarrassingly childish of you to react this way, but you couldn't help it. You had never met anyone like him before, and the intensity of your feelings were overtaking your reasonable and vain attempts to forget about him, consuming your body and soul. You shook your head at your own silliness. "Get over it, (y/n)!" you chided yourself sternly as you flung down your broom in determination, heading over to the window with a wet cloth and bucket of soapy water. "There's no way he'll think of you as a potential romantic interest!"_

 _Flinging one leg carelessly over the window ledge, you scrubbed at the grimy glass furiously, as if trying to erase away your infatuated thoughts as well. But before long, a minute movement below caught your eye, and you glanced briefly at the tiny figure on the ground floor, eyes roaming aimlessly before you recognised who it was._

 _It was Corporal Levi._

 _All your determination to forget about him vanished from your mind immediately. A hot flush flooded your face, burning your cheeks in a pool of fire as you craned your neck for a better view of him, not realising that your body was wobbling at a precarious angle from your position on the window ledge. Startled cries from Eren and Armin snapped you out of your reverie, and in a flash of panic you realised that you had leaned too heavily to the right and was now falling, sailing freely through the air and heading for the ground below._

 _Strands of hair billowed about your face like a kite snatched at by the wind, a cacophony of people screaming your name adding to your confusion and terror. Your clothes pressed tightly against your body, forming a perfect outline as you gained speed steadily. In a moment of disconnected reality, a single thought flashed through your mind: "I can't die. Not now, not before I get to know Corporal Levi better." In those few seconds before your fateful crash to the ground, you closed your eyes, a perfect expression of serene acceptance on your face. You were determined that you would not die with a terrified grimace stretching your lips grotesquely, eyes rolling in their sockets from pain and fright. You were going to embrace it with calm and open arms. No one would be able to say that you died a coward, you thought fiercely._

 _But your head never smashed into the concrete-like dirt. Your skull never cracked open like a melon, brains spilling out of the splintered bone in a bloody, messy heap. Your body never lay sprawled on the ground like a broken marionette cut free from its strings, limbs flung open in awkward angles._

 _Instead, you were cushioned by a strong pair of arms, circling you like the loving caress of a mother rocking her child to sleep. Your head lay against a clothed bicep, your body cradled protectively in an iron grip. Opening your eyes slowly, you looked up, and saw yourself reflected in a pair of stormy grey eyes that sent electric sparks of delighted shock through your veins._

 _With the barest hint of a grimace on his lips, Corporal Levi stared right back at you, seemingly oblivious to your suddenly dry throat and pounding heart._

 _"Well cadet?" he asked softly. "Are you going to get off me, or are we going to sit around all day carrying you like a damn princess?"_

 _Any other person would've flinched at the harshness of his words, but you were too busy swooning over his closeness to you. Now that your faces were bare inches apart, you could admire each feature leisurely; how little flecks of brownish-gold were hidden in the depths of his metallic-coloured eyes, how his face was smooth as satin and how the dark outlines of his eyes contrasted so beautifully with the alabaster-paleness of his skin. Lost in your fascination, you reached out a hand and rested it on his cheek, unaware of the barely stifled gasps of shock from your comrades._

 _Surprisingly, Levi didn't jerk away. He simply continued gazing down at you, his face passive and empty of all emotion._

 _"Well," he sighed. "Seems like we'll have to wait for you to recover your wits. What's your name, or have you forgotten that as well?"_

 _Normally, you would've stammered and stuttered like someone learning to talk in a new language for the first time, but this all-too-close brush with death still had adrenaline pumping through your veins, and your senses were drowning in a reckless burst of energy. Without breaking the stare, you spoke calmly, the words filling up the thin void between you and your beloved corporal._

 _"My name," you declared. "Is (y/n)."_

 _A flicker of amusement flashed across Levi's face. "That's certainly a better name than the one I was planning to call you," he replied. "Grass stains."_

"Grass stains, heh?" You giggled at the thought of his first nickname for you, but the effort proved too much. Your laughter soon turned into a coughing fit, and crimson drops of blood dotted your crumpled uniform like scarlet rubies. Desperately, Levi tried to rub at your mouth and collar with his dirt-smudged fingers, eyes wild with panic. The futile gesture touched you more deeply than any words would have, and you stilled his hand. "Oh Corporal," you said sadly, eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "If only you had known how much I had loved you, even back then."

Almost immediately, the confession triggered yet another memory, bittersweet and untouched by time, fondled by the caressing strokes of your mind so often that it seemed like it had happened only yesterday. It shone and sparkled like a diamond in the sun, and you succumbed to it gladly, racing towards it headfirst, as free and reckless as a baby bird spreading its wings for the first time.

 _The tavern exploded in a cacophony of catcalls and cheers as everyone clinked their tankards together, beer foam spraying everywhere like fine sea mist. The Survey Corps had gone out hunting titans that day, and the expedition was a success. Celebrations had taken place the very moment they walked back inside the walls, and spirits were high that night. Eren was boisterous and giddy with triumph and alcohol, Armin was passed out on a table with a half-empty tankard, and even the normally stoic Mikasa had colour high in her cheeks._

 _Only the corporal was sitting alone in a darkened corner of the room, his face shrouded in shadow._

 _The beer you had taken earlier tingled pleasantly in the pit of your belly, and you wobbled over to him unsteadily, grinning from ear to ear like the drunk fool you were. "Hee~ey Corporal~!" you sang out, plopping yourself ungracefully onto the seat next to him. "Don't you feel lonely sitting all by yourself? I'll celebrate with you!"_

 _For the space of a breath or two, there was no reaction from your silent companion. You plunked your head on the table and hiccupped. Oh well, you thought drowsily. At least I tried._

 _"…Of her." A soft murmur swept through your drunken state of mind, shaking loose the thoughts that were soaked in alcohol. Blinking blearily, you gave the most intelligent reply you could think of: "Huh?"_

 _But the corporal seemed to be lost in a world of his own. Turning his head to face you, his grey eyes roamed over your face, his normally impassive gaze unfocused and distracted. With a jolt, you realised that he was as drunk as you were, a faint flush dusting his porcelain complexion._

 _"You remind me of her," Levi repeated huskily, bringing his face closer to yours. There was the merest taint of grief around the edges of his voice, but that was enough to sober you up. You sat up straighter, shifting closer towards him gingerly. The most important moment of your life was about to happen right now, and you didn't want to miss a single word._

 _"You remind me of Isabel." the drunken corporal continued, the bitter tinge of sadness unmistakable in his tone now. His knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip on the handle of his tankard, seemingly unaware of how the wood was splintering under his fingers. Taking a mighty gulp of his beer, he stared at you intensely, grey eyes shining with a thin film of moisture._

 _"Dammit, (y/n)," he growled almost angrily, shaking his head and turning away with a loud "Tsk!" "Every time I look at you, it's like I'm seeing her all over again. I can't get the both of you out of my head. It's annoying as hell, but I can't stop thinking about her. I… I can't stop thinking about you."_

 _You could hardly believe your ears. All the words that you had dreamt about Levi saying to you were spilling from his mouth now, but it didn't make your breath catch in your chest or your cheeks flush. Instead, your heart ached with a melancholic tenderness that you have never experienced before, and you felt an overwhelming urge to put your arms around this vulnerable man in front of you, to hug him close to your body and whisper comforting words into his silky hair like a mother reassuring a crying child awakening from a nightmare. You tilted your head and gazed at him sadly, resting a hand on the tight curve of his bicep. Grumbling audibly, Levi tried to free his sleeve in vain, but you refused to let go. After a brief struggle, he finally turned around and glared at you, all signs of emotion gone from his face. "Let go of me, cadet!" he snaps, teeth bared in a feral growl. "Get your fucking filthy hands off my shirt!"_

 _But you still refused to listen to him. Instead, you leaned in closer until the tips of your noses were nearly touching, until your breaths mingled and became one, until you could see the clear imprint of your reflection in his stormy irises. Only then did you open your mouth to speak, your words shattering the tension like a glass bell._

 _"Please tell me everything, Corporal."_

 _That night, he didn't leave out a single thing. The days of his criminal underground life, how he had met his dearest friends Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church, how he had to rely on his wits alone to survive… All the nitty, gritty details were laid out bare and exposed in front of you, each one as precious as a shooting star. You held every one of them dearly to you. There were moments when his voice cracked with grief, and he had to struggle to regain his composure, fighting against the onslaught of emotions battling within him. It was during those times when you found it hardest not to offer him comfort, be it holding his hand or touching his shoulder. But you knew that some moments were private, meant only for one individual alone, and you hadn't dared to ruin the night. Instead, you waited for him to finish speaking, his last sentences fading and dissolving in the noisy din of the tavern, leaving behind thin wisps of smoke._

 _Only then did you hold him close to you, resting his head on your shoulder gently. You felt his tears wet the back of your shirt, but you didn't startle or flinch away. There was, after all, only so much a person can endure. The words that you had yearned to speak throughout your conversation burned a hole in your mouth, and you finally let them escape from your lips, releasing them into the heavy air like an unlocked cage of trapped birds._

 _"Levi," you whispered softly against his ear. "I promise that you'll never have to go through that kind of pain again."_

 _It was the first time you had acknowledged him by his name, and not by his rank._

 _The next day, groans of pain were heard in the bunks as people woke up with raging hangovers, heads pounding and stomachs turning at the very smell of food. Zombie-like, everyone shuffled mindlessly towards the field for their usual roll call, grumbling and complaining about the various pains and aches they felt. Only you were sombre and grave, the memories of last night's events weighing heavily upon you. You worried that you had gone too far by making that promise. Had you crossed the line between corporal and subordinate? Had you made him feel too uncomfortable, too childish? These thoughts had nagged at you all night long like an aching tooth, and you were reluctant to get out of bed to face him today. You fretted once more, lost in your thoughts and worries until a painful jab in the ribs startled you unpleasantly, and your head snapped back up to see everyone saluting but you. A shadow fell by your feet, and you recognised it as the one belonging to Corporal Levi himself, who was standing in front of you and frowning._

 _"(y/n)(l/n)!" he barked furiously. "Have you drunk so much last night that you've forgotten how to salute properly? Stop being an ass and perform your duties!"_

 _With a rough shove, he wrenched your arm into a salute, ignoring your squeal of protest and the tears of pain that sprang to your eyes. Everyone else looked away hastily, suddenly wide awake. No one wanted to get in the way of Corporal Levi this early in the morning, especially not when they're still dealing with the worst hangovers of their lives._

 _Stepping back, the corporal surveyed his handiwork and nodded sharply. "Good," he grunted. "You'd better stay alert for the rest of the day, cadet. How're you going to kill titans if you can't even do a salute?"_

 _You cast your eyes down at your feet, feeling a hot rush of shame and indignity flood your entire being. Of course he would behave this way, you scolded yourself. Just because the both of you shared one drunken conversation doesn't mean he's going to give you any special treatment. He's probably forgotten half of what you had said to him already._

 _Just before he moved onto the next cadet, Corporal Levi leaned in closer to you. His hand resting briefly on your clenched fist, he placed his lips by the side of your head, his breath tickling the delicate shell of your ear. You froze, not daring to move a single inch. Was he going to blackmail me into keeping quiet about last night? You wondered in fear. Or was he going to criticise me further? You wished that you had kept your mouth shut that night. If only you hadn't stupidly decided to approach him, none of these would be happening right now. Your shoulders twitched in tension as you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the poisonous words that would surely drip from his lips any moment now._

 _But they never came. Instead, you heard a faint "Thank you", a whisper so soft that you could've sworn was just a figment of your imagination, something that your terrified mind made up to comfort yourself._

 _You had almost believed yourself until you saw the brief flicker of tender gratitude in the corporal's eyes, the corners of his lips curving upwards in the barest hint of a smile._

All too quickly, the memory faded like the tail of a comet vanishing into the darkness of a starless night, and you were left with an ache in your heart and the sticky taste of grief coating your dry tongue. Your eyes flickered to Levi's anguished face, and you could see how pathetically weak you appeared in his eyes, a shrivelled, bleeding husk mere moments from death. You struggled to sit up, but failed. Your lower body had been crushed too badly by the titan for you to move more than a few inches, your legs mangled chunks of meat trampled into the dirt. You could have howled. You didn't have much time left, but there was still so much more you hadn't said, so much more that you wanted to tell him.

"(y/n)," Levi's voice was thick with tears, cracking with so much raw emotion that you almost see it seeping out from every crevice in his body, a thick, oily liquid that stained everything it touched. Your tongue felt like a thick, fuzzy foreign organ in your mouth, absorbing all your words before they could even leave your mouth. You coughed violently once more, blood replacing all the sounds you wished to utter so badly. But this time, the corporal didn't wipe them away. He was too busy holding onto your broken body, face twisted from the effort of not crying. You lay in his arms silently, too weary to speak. Thoughts raced through your head and crashed into one another, whizzing by too quickly for you to grab hold of any of them. There were too many of them, too many that needed to be expressed, but your treacherous mouth refused to form the words, refused to speak any syllable at all.

Your whole body felt heavier than lead, weighted down by bricks and stones. It would be so easy to simply relax and let go, slipping into the velvety warmth of sleep right there and then in your beloved corporal's arms. Your eyelids fluttered like the wings of a pinned butterfly, and your head lolled back and forth, your neck too weak to support its weight any longer. Your lips moved silently, words escaping in a hushed whisper. "C…Corporal," you croaked sadly, hands moving achingly slowly through the midnight black locks that you have longed to touch since the first time you met him.

Levi seemed to know what you wanted. Bending down so that your lips brushed his ear, he bowed his head as if in prayer. Only then did you smile feebly, pressing your mouth against the soft skin in a final kiss. With your final breath, you uttered the one word that you loved so much, knowing that he would understand its meaning better than anyone.

"Levi."

 _I love you._

The last thing you remembered before slipping away into the dark, empty chasm was the sight of your beloved corporal shrieking your name in an animalistic howl, tears streaming down his face and mingling with the rain. "Fucking hell, (y/n)!" he screamed, grey eyes wild in a rare display of emotion. "Don't you dare die on me! You promised, remember? You promised! Dammit, I haven't even told you how much you mean to me yet!"

But it was too late for both of you. The rain roared and raged along with Levi, slamming upon the bloodstained earth like the furious fist of a god, but even the skies were unable to drown out his grief, his heart-breaking wails tearing through the dead space.

Thus ended the love story of a corporal and his subordinate, concluded in the tears of a certain man, in the sorrowful half-smile of a certain woman. The only witnesses were the scattered bodies of their fallen comrades, the last pages of their tragic romance washed away by the pouring rain.

 _I love you too, (y/n)._


End file.
